Blessed by People, Shaped by Lessons: Understanding Insecurities and How They Show Up

I tell people all the time that God has blessed me to meet some pretty dope people in my life. Truly—I've crossed paths with some incredible souls who have encouraged me, inspired me, prayed for me, and walked with me during seasons when I didn’t even know I needed support.

But let me be honest… they haven’t all been great.

Some people brought joy. Some brought lessons. Some brought challenges I didn’t expect. But every single one of them brought something I needed to learn.

And when I look back, the takeaway—the growth I gained—was always worth it.

One of the biggest truths I’ve learned is this:

We all have insecurities. Every one of us.

It doesn’t matter how strong someone appears, how confident they talk, or how put-together they seem on the outside—there are parts of all of us that feel uncertain, unseen, or not enough. That’s normal. That’s human.

But here’s where things get complicated:

It’s not the insecurity itself that becomes toxic… it’s how we deal with it.

Unaddressed insecurities can show up in the ugliest ways:

• Jealousy

• Silent competition

• Pulling away

• Anger

• Passive-aggressive behavior

• Projection

• Self-sabotage

Sometimes people who seem “mean,” “cold,” or “hard to handle” are really just people wrestling with insecurity they never learned how to manage.

And if we’re being real… sometimes we’ve been that person too.

The beauty in all of this, though, is the opportunity for healing. When we acknowledge our insecurities instead of hiding them, we give ourselves space to grow. When we confront the things that make us uncomfortable, we stop allowing them to control how we show up in relationships, friendships, and life.

Growth sounds beautiful, but it requires honesty.

It requires saying, “This hurt me. "This triggered me.” ’m reacting from fear, not truth. "I need to heal this, not hide it.”

The people we meet in life—whether they come as blessings or lessons I—help reveal these truths. Some challenge us. Some stretch us. Some affirm us. And some teach us exactly what we’re no longer willing to tolerate.

I’m grateful for them all.

Because the older I get, the more I realize that God doesn’t waste connections. Every person serves a purpose. Every encounter is part of the journey. And even the difficult ones help refine us into wiser, stronger, more self-aware versions of ourselves.

So, as we move through this season of reflection, healing, and grace, let’s remember:

• Insecurities are normal.

• Growth is intentional.

• Healing is possible.

• And the lessons people bring—good or bad—can shape us into who we're meant to be.

Here’s to honoring the dope people, learning from the difficult ones, and becoming better—not bitter—because of it.

Let's talk soon.

Shutanda