Am I Okay… Or Is It That You’re Not, Okay?

Since launching my business and starting this blog, I’ve noticed a pattern that’s both interesting and, at times, a little unsettling. Whenever I share a post—whether it’s reflective, thought-provoking, or even encouraging—some people assume it’s automatically about me. As if every word is a personal confession or some cryptic message about my own life.

But here’s the truth: while some posts are inspired by my own journey, many of them come from what I see—conversations, interactions, and the everyday experiences of people around me. My blog is both a mirror and a window: a reflection of my own growth and a lens into the world we all share.

Still, I find it odd how quick we are to deflect. When something touches a nerve or challenges our mindset, our first instinct is to ask, “What’s going on with them?” instead of “What’s going on with me?”

The Mirror We Avoid

Self-reflection is uncomfortable. It’s easier to look outward—to assume someone else must be dealing with something—than to turn the lens inward. But sometimes that discomfort you feel from a post or a message isn’t about the writer at all. It might just be about you. About something unresolved. About healing that hasn’t happened yet.

I say this with love, because I’ve been there.

I remember looking at people’s social media posts thinking, “This is so fake,” or “They’re just showing off.” But over time, as I began my own healing, I realized those reactions were often rooted in my own pain or insecurities. I was viewing people through a lens clouded by my own unhealed wounds.

And that realization? It changed everything.

Healing Isn’t Easy—But It’s Worth It

Over the past three years, I’ve done a lot of inner work. My therapist once told me, “You picked up a mirror, turned it around, and made people see themselves—but only because you chose to see yourself first.” That stuck with me.

I made a list of things I wanted to work on—habits, hurts, patterns—and slowly, I’ve been checking them off. It’s not always pretty. It’s not always easy. But it’s always necessary.

So, when people assume my content is a personal cry for help, I don’t get offended. I just wonder… is it possible that it’s hitting something in them?

A Loving Challenge to You

If you’ve ever felt challenged, annoyed, or even inspired by something I’ve written, I want to lovingly encourage you to ask:

• What about this made me feel something?

• Is there a truth I’ve been avoiding?

• Could this be a mirror instead of a message about someone else?

Don’t ask, “Why are they doing this? "Ask, “Why does this matter to me? "Don’t say, “They’re not okay. "Ask, “Am I okay?”

Growth starts when we stop blaming and start reflecting.

So next time you scroll by a post that stirs something in you, instead of assuming it’s about someone else, pause and ask: "What does this reveal about me—and how can I grow from it?”

You might be surprised at the answers that follow.

Shutanda