Getting Older: Finding Freedom in My Forties

The other day, I was talking to a guy friend when he casually mentioned that someone was much younger than me. At first, it didn’t really sink in. But later, I thought to myself, Where the hell did my thirties go?

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I honestly forget my age most of the time because, truthfully, it’s not really relevant anymore. If I’m being honest, I didn’t truly start to understand who Shutanda was until I hit forty. It felt like I had shed an old layer of skin — like I had finally stepped into my womanhood with confidence and clarity.

Let me tell you about the version of me before forty — the one who constantly tried to accommodate others, even when it meant inconveniencing myself. That version of me is long gone. When I turned forty, NO became one of my favorite words. I decided I was going to choose me, and I haven’t looked back since.

If I want to leave a place, I leave. If I don’t feel like talking to someone for a while, I don’t. I wear whatever I want, when I want, and I no longer feel pressured to show up a certain way just because it’s what’s expected. The freedom I feel now as I’ve gotten older. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

One of the things I love most about this version of me is that I own my power and operate in my purpose. Aging isn’t a bad thing — it’s an evolution. You grow into the most beautiful and authentic version of yourself. Sometimes we resist getting older, but the truth is, there’s so much peace and power that comes with embracing who you are.

So, if you’re worried about getting older — don’t be. The best version of you is still unfolding.

Shutanda