Not My Problem: Why Their Insecurity Isn’t Your Responsibility

Over the years, I’ve been called boujee, intimidating, formidable—sometimes in work environments, other times in one-on-one conversations. And for a long time, I used to internalize those labels. I thought, well, maybe it is me.

But growth has a funny way of bringing clarity.

With time, I’ve come to realize: None of that is my problem. And guess what? It’s not yours either.

Those kinds of labels often have less to do with who we are and more to do with how others perceive us—especially when we’re comfortable in our own skin. When you don’t feel the need to perform, explain, or shrink yourself to make others comfortable, it can unsettle people who haven’t reached that place of self-assurance. They project. They judge. They try to make you the problem.

But the truth is: That’s their insecurity talking.

So, I’m here to remind you—don’t carry what isn’t yours. Don’t let someone else’s discomfort become your emotional baggage. Let them do their own reflection, their own healing, their own unpacking. That’s not your assignment.

What is your responsibility is you—your growth, your self-awareness, your healing. Keep evolving. Keep learning about who you are and falling in love with every part of your journey.

There’s power in knowing who you are and being unapologetic about it.

Let the noise be noise.

Let their projections stay with them.

It’s not your problem.

Shutanda